Writing your own vows is one of the most intimate things you’ll do for your wedding. It’s not just a romantic gesture—it’s a chance to speak directly to the person you love, with no filter, in front of the people who matter most.
Forget the cookie-cutter advice. If you’re ready to make your vows feel genuinely “you,” here are five fresh ways to approach the process that go beyond the usual tips.
1. Start with a voice memo, not a blank page
Staring at a screen can feel like pressure. Instead, grab your phone, hit record, and just talk. Say what you love about your partner, how you feel about your future, and the little things you’ll never forget. Transcribe it later—your most authentic words often come out when you’re just talking.
2. Write a letter, then distill it
Before you write formal vows, try writing a long-form letter to your partner. Pour everything in—memories, promises, quirks, dreams. Then, go back and highlight the phrases that feel the truest. Use those to shape your vows.
3. Include one quiet promise
Weddings are full of big declarations—but the quiet, unexpected promises often hit the hardest. Think beyond “forever” and consider things like “I’ll always make you coffee first” or “I’ll never skip our Sunday walks.”
4. Use rhythm, not rhyme
You don’t need to write a poem, but your vows will feel stronger if they have rhythm. Try short, varied sentences. Repeat a phrase or a word a few times for emotional impact. Like:
“I promise to choose you. On good days, I choose you. On hard days, I choose you.”
5. Close with a vision
End your vows with a glimpse of the future. Not just “we’ll grow old together,” but something vivid:
“I can’t wait to dance with you in the kitchen at 80,” or “Here’s to becoming the strange old couple who still holds hands at brunch.”
Writing your own vows doesn’t mean being perfect—it means being present. If you show up in your words, your partner will feel every bit of it.
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